Fashionably Show up to the Relationship

Take a moment. Close your eyes. Relax your thoughts. Picture your fairytale dream date. If you could go anywhere, do anything, and be with anyone. There are no limitations. Time, money, and distance do not matter. What were you imagining? I was imagining horse-drawn carriages clacking through NYC’s Central Park on a cool, winter evening. Snowflakes are gently falling and the two of us are snuggled close together to keep warm. Big city lights and Christmas trees are glistening all around us. The sounds of Christmas carols fill our ears while we hold hands and kiss under the bright light of a full moon (Can you tell that Christmas is my favorite time of year?). Most importantly, it’s just the two of us spending time together, doing something we’ve done before, and creating a lifelong, magical memory.

If only dates like these ones happened every week! Now that you’re married or in a long-term relationship, what does date night look like? Netflix and chill with popcorn and pajamas. Taco Tuesday at the Mexican restaurant down the street, where you both order the same meal every time. Gone are the days of long romantic walks in the park under the stars and twinkle lights. Trying fancy new restaurants and treating yourselves to three course meals. Taking a spontaneous weekend getaway trips to new cities. Where has the romance gone? When you first meet someone, you go out of your way to plan extravagant dates, wear beautiful clothing, and impress each other with every chance that you get. Over time, the newness wears off and reasons to impress each other dwindle. With the passing of time, the excitement fades into everyday life and you get stuck in a routine. Maybe you have kids that make it more challenging to set aside one on one time. Perhaps after a long day at the office and running errands, you are both exhausted. Whatever the reason, actively make it a point to do something special at least once a month.

Much like the change in dating style after marriage or from being with the same person for so long, you also start to change the way you dress around them. The dresses hanging in your closet only make rare appearances at weddings, funerals, and baby showers. The pairs of heels in your closet have been shoved to the back and haven’t taken a fresh step in months. That soft pink lipstick hasn’t touched your lips since your wedding day. Instead, your go-to uniform around the house is a sweatpants and sweatshirt combination that you often re-wear to save on loads of laundry. If you go out after work, you just wear what you had on at the office all day and don’t bother changing into something fresh. Why do you need to impress your own partner?

Not only should you be doing something special as a couple, but you should also be dressing up for each other on a regular basis. I’m sure your first thought is that there are more important and productive ways to be putting effort into your relationship than dressing stylishly. You will read countless articles from experts about the importance of emotionally showing up to your relationship. This includes tips for better communication, practicing patience, adjusting your behavior, being honest, offering support, and building each other up. These are highly important tips for an effective relationship. However, there are many creative ways and smaller steps you can take towards putting these feelings into actions. In this case, one of those small steps is something I like to call, fashionably showing up to the relationship.

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  1. Romance doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be something small that lets the other person know that you care. In this example it is being stylish. It’s not just an appearance; it shows that you’re actually putting time and effort into the relationship. Your partner will likely appreciate it and return the gesture in another way, such as cleaning up the kitchen for you after a meal. These are small way to show kindness, offer support, build each other up, and create positive behavior in your everyday life. It is easy to say you should be doing all of these things within your relationship, but it is more difficult to actually practice them. This is one small step towards something bigger.
  2. Dressing stylishly gives you happiness and confidence from a personal standpoint. You must do things for yourself that make you feel good in order to be a positive contributor in the relationship.
  3. It is one way to add freshness and excitement. Putting effort into your appearance is only the first step, but can often be a push in the right direction that leads to spontaneity in other ways.

Ways to fashionably show up to your relationship:

  1. Don’t wait for a special occasion to wear a new outfit, make it a part of every day
  2. Don’t immediately put on your pajamas after work and check out for the night
  3. Wear heels instead of flats
  4. Let your husband/wife choose your outfit
  5. Wear his/her favorite from your wardrobe
  6. Wear something he/she bought you, like a piece jewelry
  7. Choose a piece that you wore on a previous special occasion to bring back that happy memory and reminisce.

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This is a perfect example of a outfit for a fall date night. It is a great casual look for the movie theater or out to dinner. It is simple, comfortable, cozy, and still polished. This is not just advice for women, these tips are viable for men to impress the women in their lives as well. Effort is a two-way street. If you see your partner stretching their neck out for you, you should do the same in return. I would love to hear your thoughts. Comment below and tell me if you have tried this or if you’re willing to try it. I wish you all the best of luck and can’t wait to hear the results.

Until next time.

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